I Didn't See Nelly Anywhere

St. Louis, Missouri...Budweiser, the Cardinals, the Mississippi, and the Gateway Arch, which is the symbolic gateway to the West, and apparently the gateway to the Rams end zone.

I've seen the Bills in Kansas City, Cleveland and Detroit, and they miserably lost all of those games. I was hesitant to go...Walking out of a stadium in the gear of the away team, after the home team just drubbed them is the second worst feeling in the world (Michigan losing to Ohio State is the worst, but I'm getting used to that happening).

$12 tickets on eBay makes the decision to go see the Bills on the road a lot easier though. The Rams are pitiful, first pick in next year's draft bad, but still there's that thing...it's ingrained in all of us Bills fans. "They're not this good...this is the kind of game they lose, no matter how good they've looked in the last few weeks..." So with that, we entered the Edward Jones Dome, much like the 15 to 20,000 other Bills fans who were in St. Louis Sunday.

It's nice enough inside, but like most domes, there is absolutely no personality, no character to it. Watching the Bills warm up was pretty incredible though. They go AT IT, even in warm ups. Marshawn doesn't stop moving, Stroud hits anything in his sight, and I would not F with Poz.

The game starts, Trent Edwards runs for his life for the entire first half, and they go into halftime down 14-6. Uh oh. The Bills took the kickoff to start the second half, ran it down their throats, and you got the feeling it was over, even though they were still down a point. They shut down Steven Jackson, made Trent Green look like, well, Trent Green, and the second half was a party for all of the Bills fans in attendance.

Walking out, the bitter Ram fans gave us the old, extremely creative "at least we won a Super Bowl." OK -- they also lost a Super Bowl after being a two touchdown favorite...And fuck, the Super Bowl is ONE GAME...We lost four in a row; fantastic, but, for five years the Bills were incredible. That's five years of playing nearly 20 games a year, 20 games in which (other than Super Bowls) we were absolutely un-fucking believable to watch play. That's over a hundred games. I would not trade that for one Super Bowl -- no way. Not to mention that the Super Bowl they won was in the deadest of dead eras for the NFL. It was the pre-Brady/Manning era, it was the post-Elway/Marino/Young era. It was Steve McNair against Kurt Warner...come on now.

It was amazing, despite a few bitter, drunk Ram fans. St. Louis was temporarily Buffalo for a good chunk of Sunday. It was incredible.

Best D Backfield in the NFL?

Mel Kiper -- still want to make fun of that Whitner pick?

Leodis will return a kick for a TD this season

Josh Reed signed autographs forever. He is also the best blocking WR in the NFL, a super nice guy, and incredibly clutch on third down for us.

The entire second half was BEAST MODE

The view directly from our seats. $60 face value, $12 eBay value.

BOOM. The Cardinals also scored 14 on Sunday.

We have a QB for the next 10 years.

He needs a better nickname than Poz

Why You CANNOT Root for the Rays in October

What a cute story. Tampa Bay wins the American League East, beating out teams who combine to nearly $400 million in payroll. It's nice right? No.

First off, is there a genuine Rays fan on the planet? Over the entire history of the team, I would say more than half of their yearly attendance was represented by fans of Tampa's opponents. It's well-publicized that Red Sox and Yankee fans sell out that shit stadium Tampa plays in, but, when Detroit, Toronto, Baltimore and Cleveland come to town, they may not sell out the stadium, but, the majority of fans are there not to see the Rays, but to see who they are playing against. That's true even this year until August when the bandwagon started to get going...Even then, last Friday night when Minnesota was in town, another playoff team, on a Friday night, Tampa drew 28,000 fans....In the middle of a pennant race they drew what Detroit or Cleveland (two teams who have been out of the race for months) draw on a weeknight.

I saw the Rays twice this year in person. Before the game I go and watch BP, and I'm curious to see if a team is friendly with the fans, even on the road. In 2006 when the Tigers were making a similar dream run, I saw Detroit play over 10 times, and every single time I was blown away by how much they signed autographs as a team. EVERYONE signed for the Tigers at some point when I saw them. In Pittsburgh, I swear 20 of the 25 man roster signed.

Tampa in 2008? A joke. Not only do they not sign, they are absolute assholes, every single one of them, with the exception of Evan Longoria, Scott Kazmir and Grant Balfour. Carlos Pena, B.J Upton and Carl Crawford not only didn't sign, but were arrogant and Upton did the "I'll catch ya on the way back" to a kid, and never did catch him on the way back. The kid had this amazingly hand-drawn sketch of Upton that he did himself. Upton saw it, he looked right at it, yet couldn't even sign this kid's hard work. I was at the first game of the series and the last, and the drawing went un-signed.

Anyways, who the FUCK is B.J Upton??? In Toronto earlier this year, Chipper Jones signed for a half hour. He was engaging and talked to the fans as he signed. BJ Upton will never be a tenth of the player that Chipper is...but apparently in his head, Upton is Hank fucking Aaron.

And Carlos Pena?????? There is not a more arrogant player in the league, and I'm including my boy Gary Sheffield in on this...At least Sheff has hall-of-fame numbers. YOU'RE CARLOS PENA -- THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE IN THE MAJORS IS BECAUSE YOU SIGNED WITH TAMPA. You feed on bad pitching and mistakes, and in the playoffs you're not going to see Brian Bruney or Freddy Dolsi, you're going to see great pitching and your .247 is going to be .147.

The Rays are a team of temperamental, young, arrogant assholes. I'd love to root for them, but (and this is hard to say) I am pulling for the Twins in the AL in these playoffs. The Rays fundamentally are a good story, but underneath the cute little young team that could lies a squad full of pricks. The Twins are an even better story, with players who are a lot more fun to watch and easier to root for.



Carlos Gomez is going to become a superstar if the Twins make the playoffs.

Fuck Friday

Friday used to be the shit. Growing up it was the night Full House was on TV, and it progressed into the nights when we'd have Southline basketball and then go watch the NBA doublheader on TNT at Bobby P's. As I learned what beer was, Fridays then turned into, "where are we going to get hammered tonight?" That was aided by my employment at Convenient, where it wasn't Friday unless you left work with a free 12-pack. I worked 3-7 on Fridays in high school, and seriously between my "employee discount" and sharing my employee discount with friends, over a thousand dollars worth of alcohol went unpaid for in a scheme that was so fool-proof it would impress Halburton...Only tricky part, sometimes Jeff Radt wanted me to throw a porn magazine in the bag with his "order." That kid is now a Bible-thumping Christian -- go figure.

I never even took money for it. I honestly felt like Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor...You should have seen the cash we dropped into the safe on a Friday night at Convenient, just in my four hours,,,what was a few free 12-packs, or a few free bottles of Boone's in Jeff Bolt's case?

Today is Friday, and after going to bed at around 12:30, digesting Oregon State's amazing performance over USC (aided by a kid who suffers with major depression), I cried myself to sleep. I don't want to be here. Two weeks is more than enough time to come to this conclusion. I think it's fair and not a snap judgment at this point...I've given it time. The grounds on which I came here under have quickly revealed to be total bullshit. A support system of three, I thought, who would be there whenever I need them, has shrunk to a support system of zero. I am here alone emotionally, and honestly, if you know me you understand this and if you don't you think I am fucked up (which you are probably right), the ONLY sane moments of my days are when I am watching this whole Mets/Brewers/Phillies orgy and football on the weekends.

I went to a support group Monday night and it was terrific; most support groups are. But that is one day a week, for two hours! It's not abandonment...who the fuck am I to expect other people's lives to be put on hold while I suffer through this, but can't anyone see how this leads to the justification of suicide in my own head???

I just want everyone to be able to live their lives without worry. The source of their worry and concern is -- me. SO, basic middle-school level problem solving...If there is a problem, and you are the source of the problem, what do you do? You remove or fix the problem right? I've tried with medication, talk therapy, diversion, meditation, exercise, and every single, solitary sollution that everyone tells me will make me feel better, or "fix the problem." Shit's not working. So, in the end, what's the last viable option to end/fix the problem? Ask Hemingway, ask Virginia Woolf, my Uncle Michael, or saddest of all (and most recent), ask David Foster Wallace.

Nothing is going to happen, yet. The pain never eases though, and I am absolutely seeing how and why writers, and creative people feel the need to go the route that so many take. The detachment from society I, we, feel is so profound that there's no fucking drug for it.

The beautiful and popular reverse-psychology that people use to the point of disgust nowadays is that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do...How the hell is thst remotely true? People with depression, me, we feel so unbelievably and unspeakably burdened and guilty that the only way we know to release the burden that we are to others (and the burden I am slowly starting to see that I truly am), is to do what they all have done. David Foster Wallace suffered from depression for over 20 years...his work was brilliance. I can't, I CAN'T, do THIS for 20 more years.


David Foster Wallace


And by the way, Mitch Albom is not a writer, there are 397,000 writers that could pen that sappy bullshit in their sleep. He'll be around, making up and stealing stories forever, so all the soccer Moms out there don't have to worry. Depression is the stifling of creativity...Albom is to creativity what Gerorge Bush is to honesty.

The Raiders Are a Joke

I just came across this today thanks to deadspin.com. Amazing what Al Davis has become...Raider fans deserve more than this. They are as passionate as they are scary...and this is just incredible:

It was at the press conference announcing the hiring of Kiffin. Afterwards I was talking to Al, and remarked that I thought it was a strange hire, given that Kiffin was so young and had no head coaching experience. Al didn't like that, and said: 'I'll bet you don't even know who Deng Xiaoping was.' I was like, what? What does that have to do with anything? Al pressed it. 'Who is Deng Xiaoping?' So I thought for a minute, and said, 'Well, if I'm not mistaken, wasn't he the General Secretary of the Chinese government during the Tiananmen Square massacre?' And Al repiles, 'But what can you tell me about him other than that? See? You don't even know anything about your own culture.' I said, 'Al, I'm Japanese-American, not Chinese.' And Al said, 'Ohh, geez. I bet you're going to kill me on that now.' It all happened in front of about 20 reporters, so I didn't have to.

Back to Zero

The most amazing thing about today's return to waking up and crying for two hours? The last two days have been good days if I had to classify them (Trent Edwards!!!!). I am sure with the days being weekend days, it helped a lot, but at the same time, I'm not working (in more ways than one!), so what the hell is the difference between weekends and weekdays,,,it all blends into one. The only obvious difference being the lack of NFL and College Football.

Is that really enough to make me good? Someone needs to get in touch with the NFL to change to more of an NBA schedule so those who are too severely depressed to even work a shit job don't feel so worthless.

That's what it is. The constant thought and image is that I see everyone I know, in my head, working right now....They don't work on the weekends, so in turn that is one thing that isn't feeding my sick head. It puts me at ease a little bit.

Depression comes with worthlessness like all cars come with steering wheels, On top of that, I am an over-thinker, so as my mind spins out of control, I think about everything, and it sinks me deeper. It worsens my worthlessness, and in turn, obliterates any sense of hope or self-esteem I have held.

Deeply, like profoundly, the over-thinking is positive sometimes, but that mother fucking "yeah but" creeps in and smashes the progress I think I am making in changing my thought patterns. Like today, I was crying, and that routine is curling up, bawling, and listening to my iPod. By now I forget what song it was, but it made me smile because I stopped and compartmentalized my thinking into one of the best moments of my life, and it was great. For s few seconds.

Amos Lee is my choice when I am iPodding and crying. His song "Better Days" drew tears out of me at the concert, and it still does. It came on this morning and while I cried, I had amazing, vivid memories of the past. And as much as I hurt right now, as much as I want to punch someone in the face when they say "just snap out of it.....stop thinking so much," I started to meditate on positive memories, and that's the answer.....Like he says in the lyric, "when the lights go out, all that I can think about is how we've seen better days."

The song goes on to his inner-battle, and if it's not a song about depression then I love Ohio State. Listen to it on that link, the last verse when he sings "well, I'm trying not to be suspicious of those I'm suspicious of; I'm trying to crack open this angry heart and find a little love; instead of worry, worry, worry."

That's where I am at right now. I resent myself for feeding into a lot of the negativity and judgment of those who surround me in Buffalo...The truth of it is that a lot of it is perceived and blown out of proportion in my ill brain.

Even with the only person in my life right now who really matters, I think of what a bastard I have been to her through the depression, because it truly makes you someone you are not, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't eat because of it....It's all that's in my head. "I'm trying to crack open this angry heart and find a little love." That could not be more true, I could not have jammed those words together any more suitably to state my mindset.

How the fuck do you do that? "Just do it" some people will say, even more, some will say "what a fag" because my emotions are ruining me right now, and *gasp* I'm talking about it! If I've grown away from you in the past 5 months, then you're probably one of those people...figure it out, and stop battling each other. We're 29 fucking years old. We all have our problems, some more severe than others (see: my stay at Brylin), but the judgment, and to replace a word that just isn't coming to me right now, stop the dickery. P. Diddy says, stop the Bitch-ass-edness.....Never will I borrow from him again, ever (because killing 2pac is bitchassed)...but seriously...What good is faking a date on MySpace with someone else's ex-girlfriend doing? Just leave shit alone...if the person and you are growing apart, let it happen, don't exacerbate it with bitchassedness.

I've grown close to people emotionally (Team Kev!, Iz, Grizz and D) in the past 5 months that I was never THAT close to because in a time of extreme need, they are an ear, but also because they listen and communicate back without judgment or pre-tense...with an open heart and open-mind. They may not get what I am going through but they know, just by making an attempt and looking in my eyes as I pour my soul, that it's not something I can just "snap out" of...I can't "just do it."

It's like if someone was a total maniacal control freak in relationships. He or she can't just "snap out of it." It takes work, OR, it stays the same and you stay lonely forever. There is no magic wand that solves emotional and personality issues.

I've been told I don't like anybody, I hate everything. Granted this is by people who are more fucking cynical and negative than anyone I know in this world...But you know, a.) it's not true, b;) you travel to New York with someone you used to make fun of us for hanging out with, and c.) you unabashedly hate the NBA.....but that's OK right? You can gloss other people as hating everything, while you just judge the fuck out of everything and everyone.

It's SUCH AMAZING BULLSHIT too. See me in action back when I was healthy. Working with kids from the inner-city, and bonding with them and their parents to where they and I were in tears at times when I was having a depresed day...That sounds like a hateful person right? I jokingly hate Ohio State, I don't even, it's just sports hyperbole....I went to Columbus and LOVED their campus, kind of envied their athletic facilities. It was really nice in C-Bus. I do not state my opinion as fact, such as "the NBA is garbage." It's not, but, a logical debate cannot be had about it,,,and I'm fucking sick of it,

Carmelo Anthony is labelled a thug with the N-word thrown around about him because he threw ONE PUNCH. The NHL guys who get in fights are diefied in hockey communities....Rob Ray is a God in Buffalo for fighting...Carmelo threw ONE PUNCH, and proceeded to put his heart and soul into playing for your country, winning gold in the face of people who want to kill us for being American. Yet again though, the Olympic basketball tournament was garbage too right? Nobody cared, except for the over 500 million people who watched it.

Friends don't joke about their friends who have suicidal depression, and the soothe it over with an insincere apology. Friends don't tell their friends they're hateful when it's patently un-true. I've been called a nigger lover by people as ignorant as you, and I am fucking sick of it. It's what drove me out of there...and it's my fault, I have to rise above it and not let it bother me as deeply as it does. It's not your fault, It's who you are, but the natural pushing-away from you that I feel is there for a reason. Some people are stuck, and it's OK. They tear down other people to cover up their shortcomings or low self-esteem...It's Psychology 101.

Langston Hughes

Today like yesterday,
Tomorrow like today;

The drip, drip, drip of monotony,
is wearing my life away.

Today like yesterday,
Tomorrow like today.

I feel below worthless.

Big Day for U.S Soccer (We Hope)

At 2:30 Manchester United will take on Villareal in the first day of Champions League Group play. Villareal has American Jozy Altidore, the truth, one piece in the promising future of American soccer. He's a talented goal-scorer with size, and while he doesn't start, he has looked great coming in as a reserve. It'll be interesting for Altidore if he sees the field. DeMarcus Beasley has seen Champion's League soccer and has grown from the experience tremendously.

This is a big day -- Jozy Altidore could see time on the field in Champions League soccer against the biggest superstars on the planet. It remains to be seen if he gets time, but if he does it will be a very big step for American soccer. Adu, Altidore and Beasley all having seen Champions League group play -- all Americans. That would never have been heard of a decade ago.

Kalamazoo

I am fucking broken.

This may be the worst decision I have made in my entire life.

I don't need aother temporary fix. I need to stay where I have a support system in place, which includes counseling, and get to healing. I was making so much progress, and I have set that shit on fire. I am as depressed as I have ever been, as suicidal as I have ever been, and I want to come home. Do you realize what a failure that makes me feel like?

What the hell was I thinking? I am now lonely here, I have no counseling here, my support system is two people and not enough, as hard as they try to be and want to help, I need to know at 3:15 Kristin is going to be home. I was getting better in Buffalo. That's worth everything.

I am homeless. I can't move back because I have no place to go and no income. I am ready to find a BryLin in K'Zoo and set up shop.

Raiders vs. Broncos MNF

Monday Kristin and I visited San Quentin Federal Prison. They re-named it McAffee Coliseum, and 8 days a year they let the Raiders play football there. It's well-publicized that Raiders fans are absolute maniacs, and they take pride in that fact. I went in expecting that, but holy crap...The McAffee Coliseum on a Raiders game day is the scariest place on the planet that is not a prison.

It's going to be mostly pictures...Words cannot describe how unbelievable it was. Especially considering I dressed neutrally but rooted, quietly, for the Broncos. The pics are super out of order because blogger and I don't get along with photo alignment.

so much anticipation...The Oakland Raiders are now on the clock...

I envisioned this being the picture they showed on the News once our bodies were found in the parking lot.

the view from the 50, pre-game. All the criminals were still in the parking lot.

Child Protective Services should have a stand in the parking lot

The Tailgate

What kind of dirtbag gets a tattoo of his favorite team's logo?

CPS, Where ARRRRREEEE YOU?

if Excellence is 41-14, they are committed

this needs to be purchased for RoPo immediately

the tailgate

this old fella with the cane had much bigger balls than I did

San Mateo Bridge -- 10 miles across the southern S.F Bay


The Tailgate

the view once it got dark

this dude is probably not a lawyer

RoPo's Dad

Home of the G State Warriors. Monta Ellis and a pile of crap

Day Tres

Today was amazing. We went to the much-hyped Bills bar in North Beach, and it was even more amazing than I had anticipated. The fact that the Bills look amazing helped to be sure, but holy crap, the staff was super friendly and great. and over 100 people were in that bar wearing Bills gear and chanting "hey eh eh eh, Let's Go Buffalo!!" It was so surreal to be in the bar, watching the Bills in HD, drinking Blue from a bottle, and then looking out the window to see "holy shit, we're in San Francisco." I hugged strangers, yelled and screamed, and it felt like it could have been any bar in Western New York.....It was AMAZING.....and we met a couple who live on Main Street near Mill in West Seneca!!

After that, there was really no way to match that 3 hours of the adrenaline of a 34-10 arse-whooping (dude, seriously, Brian Moorman will have more TD passes than Tom Brady this season). We walked around North Beach, and bounced into an Irish pub to watch the Browns/Cowboys for a little bit. 33 beers on tap, and the most beautiful HD I have ever seen...It was cool, but it was and Irish Pub/Indian Eatery.....seriously...but where else than S.F would that happen?

After that we went somewhere that I got a little reflective and a little historic. City Lights Bookstore in North Beach (and literally a 30 second walk from China Town) is where Ginsberg, Kerouac, Buchowski, and most of the beats back in the day hung out and read, thought, and just kind of bull-shitted with each other. It's still in-tact, independent and seemingly un-manipulated. Next door, across Jack Kerouac Lane, was Vesuvio, where the same clan got their debauchery on. It's still there too, and it's supremely San Franciscoan.


We were too tired, and 5 or 6 beers deep, to walk, so we took this Scenic drive that the city has set out which takes you past the Golden Gate and down along the ocean. It was REALLY foggy, but still, it's so energizing to just smell the salt-water and see and hear the waves. And with the wind, the waves were almost surf-able.

Just an average view you get when you cross the street in S.F.

Seriously, I thought Smart Cars were ridiculous.

...the fog. the bridge.

The Pacific. Too cold for swimming, but if you have a shitty day, you just take the dog for a walk on the beach alongside the rim of the Pacific. It was too foggy to see China.

I had to roll out the rack at 9 am to watch a horribly boring Michigan win over Miami of Ohio. The highlight of the game was the Papa John's guy coming to the door. Papa John's is essentially Little Caesars. Just more expensive, but nonetheless, great.

So we did that and got ready to hit San Jose for the day. San Jose, or more specifically, Santa Clara....amazing. Modern and clean, and beautiful.

We went to this monstrous mall to kill time. It's the biggest mall I have ever been in. Fancy stores that I can't even pronounce the name of filled one entire wing of the mall. It was like the Palace Shops at Caesar's in Vegas.

After that we went to a place called C.J's, a sports bar right off the UC Santa Clara campus. We, or I, watched the USA/Cuba soccer game while Tinny played MegaTouch...best part....I met some fellas who KNEW THEIR SHIT. We talked about the U.S National Team and why Kenny Cooper should at least get a shot over Eddie Johnson, much less Brian Ching. We discussed the new ownership at Manchester City...all things I am sure you are concerned with. It was phenomenal. I was loving it.

...worst mascot ever


From there we went to the San Jose Earthquakes vs. D.C United soccer game on the ridiculously modernized UC Santa Clara campus. San Jose won, and again, I fell in love. The younger fellow behind me was wearing a freaking NEW Tottenham jersey (in English soccer they literally change their new jerseys every season...seriously). So this was the NEW 2008/09 away Tottenham jersey....We talked about the three Spurs games this season and how gutted we were at the start of the season. Talked about the new additions. talked about the Aston Villa game on the 15th, and I sat down with an erection that was induced by actually speaking to Americans who knew their shit about the Premier League.

San Jose won the game, we drove home through Silicon Valley and it is now bed time.

Day One of S.F

The day started at 5:10 EST Friday morning and ended at 4:45 EST Saturday morning.

The flight was fine...we got the car and got the hotel without any incident. We chilled for a little while then got going to Berkeley to see Dave Matthews at the Greek Theatre on UC Berkeley's campus and I am confident saying it is the most amazing concert venue maybe in the world?

Dave was on fire, they played for three hours and he was hammered. Carter lit up the drums. Usually the long drawn out versions of the songs drive me insane, but with Tim Reynolds ond there and Carter having like 4 drum solos, it was as good as I have ever seen Dave. The set-list was kind of dark and somber, maybe influenced by the death of Leroi Moore.


Seriously. All stone. The chairs weren't there, it was all GA, and the stone seating you can see to the right and where the picture was taken from, runs all around like a horseshoe. The seating is all stone, but provided a ton of legroom, and just riculous visuals to see them playing on what looked like the front of the Parthenon or something.

The set-list was (besides 3 songs I didn't know):
- The Stone
- One Sweet World
- Don't Drink the Water
- So Damn Lucky
- Dancing Nancies
- Eh Hee (no idea...not good)
- Water Into Wine
- Gravedigger
- Grey Street
- Dreaming Tree
- Stay or Leave
- Corn Bread (no idea...not so good)
- Burning Down the House (Talking Heads Cover!)
- #41
- Anyone Seen the Bridge (no idea -- but great)
- Tripping Billies

ENCORE
- Sister (new to me but an AMAZING song)
- Two-Step


...Taken from K.O's phone....no cameras allowed, but EVERYONE had their cameras...and weed...lots and lots of weed


Ridiculous set-list. A lot of non-radio songs which is always the best...And anytime The Stone, One Sweet World and Dancing Nancies are on the set-list, it's a phenomenal show. It's hard to describe, probably because the incredible venue has to be so energizing to play in, but Dave was on-fire with the dance moves only Tinny can duplicate.

AMAZING show, ridiculous venue, and Obama love everywhere you looked. Even Dave said "Vote on November 4th, unless you're voting for McCain....then don't vote."

Hanging out in Santa Clara for Day 2.

Pregame

Just wanted to get this up here before tonight's speech in which he'll clearly ignore what's happened to this country in the past 8 years, like his V.P did last night...and I'm sure he'll distance himself from W.

...Seriously, this pic will (channeling Chris Tucker) never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get old.

Karma

He shaved the beard...



He lost.

Can't Seepy

Can't sleep, but not suicidal. That's a fun sentence to type!

Could the "Gridiron Ice" Slurpee (without marketing it's called Orange Flavored) at midnight be the culprit to my lack of sleepiness?? Despite a medication I am now on that is pretty much sedation, I am still up...This slurpee was supposedly an energy drink slurpee. How is that legal? That's like slamming a 32 ounce Red Bull after doing three lines.

I have a lot on my mind, the move is in full-swing as a trip to San Francisco hangs in the balance Friday! Tinny's first MLS game in person Saturday night!!! Let me tell you, she's fucking thrilled. She is losing sleep. The San Jose Earthquakes vs. D.C United -- it's a dream come true for her really. I am kind of geeked to see the city of San Jose (the 10th largest city in America) and the UC Santa Clara campus.

Sunday, we found a Bills bar in the trendy North Beach neighborhood of San Francisco (you can see the Sabres jersey hanging on the wall in one of the pics). There are Sabres and Bills decorations all over the walls of the bar, and they have Labatt Blue on tap. I can't really explain to you how beautiful San Francisco is, and North Beach is the most amazing nook in the city. You have to see S.F for yourself, but the fact that there is a Bills bar in North Beach is perhaps the greatest thing I have ever heard of in my entire life. I still can't wrap my head around it. All I need is to walk into the bar and see Stephen Jenkins (Third Eye Blind lead singer who lives in North Beach) sitting at the bar, and I will seriously not be coming home.

North Beach may be my most favorite spot, hamlet, neighborhood, or whatever you call it, that I have ever been to. I cannot stress enough to you how utterly ridiculous it is that there is a bar there for Buffalo Bills fans on Sunday mornings.

We may go see Sarah Silverman Sunday night, she actually is performing very close to North Beach....and then Monday is freaking Monday Night Football in Oakland. I will sneak the Broncos logo on me into the stadium, somehow, some way and get a picture. Maybe just a pic of me doing the mile-high salute? BTW --- I love the Raiders +3 in that game...How are they getting points at home, on Monday Night Football in the opening week of the season?

This trip is a god-send. How about London, New York City and San Francisco in a five month time-frame....HOW THE HELL AM I SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED!?!? That's amazing!

BTW -- How good is Venus vs. Serena followed by Nadal vs. the American Mardy Fish (power of the beard!!!) tomorrow night at the U.S Open? Fish is marrying a "Deal or No Deal" model, and is twice as good-looking as Andy Roddick (no homo)...