Anyways, the new Third Eye Blind album is out, and it's amazing. It's a big deal, believe me. It's been six years since they've put out an album, and I've seen them I think seven times live...Lyrically Stephan Jenkins is one of the best songwriters on the planet, and I owe a lot to them as a band. Being from San Francisco, they've got this beat/Kerouac influence on their lyrics, and Jenkins said in an interview once that On the Road changed his life.
On that, I picked up the book when I started college, and it changed my life. It made me fall in love with books, and led me to choose my English major. Most importantly though (and read it please...I'll lend you mine), besides the beautiful writing that is Kerouac, it instilled in me what I've lost in the last three years or so. That love of life experiences just fell apart as I got focused on "supposed to" living and money, and all of the trappings. I've gone into enough, but, I lost me. It's made crazier, because on the album there's a line "I've been lighting myself on fire the past three years." I've lit my old, happy self on fire over the last three years, without a doubt. This is why music and literature are art (well, MOST music and MOST literature). It moves you to a sublime place.
Timing has been really odd in the last 15 months of my life. Every big change has happened on the fly. I thought I was moving to Michigan, maybe permanently. The house in Michigan sells when nobody in the country is selling a house. And it happens the day before we left to go to Maryland for Thanksgiving (my favorite week of the year by far). I left the day after my birthday, and my stuff, in the Budget Truck will be rolling into Buffalo the day before my birthday....and I'll be spending September 12th in Detroit -- so it's come full circle.
I was in town in the perfect amount of time to find a house, and all the paperwork and headaches were done (knock on wood) the day before I left to come back down. Sadly, even with my Dad's medical issues, timing-wise it was all good with looking for work down here (I think it was a sign that Florida is not home), and even being able to be down here for his follow-up surgery next week.
I've had a crisis of a lot of things through this, but one of the most important things that was tested was my faith. There is unequivocally a higher power. I don't know its name or gender, or any of that, but I know that with belief, breathing and waking up every day simply trying to smile and laugh...that's it. It doesn't matter if you live in a third world country, Buffalo, Florida or Albuquerque. You make your own happiness.
The best song on the album:
Monotov's Private Opera
Every moment of your life
Is a chance to get it right
Any moment you've been living in
You could turn it on like a light
All the weight of the years
Has got me burstin' into tears
Standin' here with nothin'
I stand alone inside my fears
Like an atom reveals a deeper state
Well I swear for me tonight
It's not too late
To tell you baby
It's you and only you and no one else
And I'll mean it
Even when I'm talking to myself
I said maybe, it's you and only you and no one else
How I miss Moscow
Those people really know
How to have a good time
In a mixed up state of mind
And Monotov's Private Opera is closed
So I guess I'll go home now
Cause there's no wheres else to go
And I will tell you baby
It's you and only you and no one else
And I will mean it
Even when I'm talking to myself
I said baby, it's you and only you and no one else
You and no one else
Now I'm stuck inside a poem
And then I'm walkin by myself
In the dark, all alone
And these actors and dramatists
They won't send me home
Well, maybe I'm like my father
Strung out on something or another
Held to a standard
We were always sinking under
And maybe I'm like my mother
She shattered cause no one loved her
Maybe I, Maybe I am like no other
And some moments are more real than the books I've read
And a good woman, maybe she meant what she said
Cause to feel you now ya know, it goes straight to my head
So I'll tell you baby
It's you and only you and no one else
And I will mean it, even when I'm talkin' to myself
I said baby, it's you and only you and no one else
Talkin' to myself
Talkin' to myself
And everything changed in a day
And I know another one on the way
And I'll tell you
Everything changed in a day
And I know another one is on the way
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