Almost Perfect

In an almost perfect example of what I am talking about, the delusional mind of "happiness" has struck.

Apparently the economy is in a crisis, that's the word on the streets. The worst financial crisis since the Great Depression or something like that? I wish they covered it on the news more than they do......Anyways, I'm reminded of Capriotto Auto Parts on Union Road in West Seneca. It used to have a huge storefront, but, in time the building was re-made and one of the millions of fly-by-night mortgage companies that sprung up in the mid 00's took up offices. Global Mortgage or something like that? Well, therein lies the problem, and therein lies what I was referring to in my previous ramblings.

The world is hurting right now and it's because a lot of folks are in houses they cannot afford. It's not all their fault. Places like Global Mortgage set up shop, brokered the shit out of adjustable rate mortgages, and when people couldn't pay back their mortgage, the bubble burst for not only small companies like theirs, but also monsters like Citibank, AIG, and Bank of America just to name a few. This is obviously common sense, I'm not stating anything most people aren't aware of. The happy allusion of the "American Dream," turned out to be a delusion for many, but, it's because a monkey could go in and get a mortgage.

Some people apparently took that as a shot at them when I used that as an example of unrealistic optimism, a fairly common philosophy on mental health......The unrealistic optimism is worldwide, as evidenced by the global financial crisis....relax, I wasn't talking about you.

Part 2 - I plucked the whole depressive realism theory from the book I am currently reading, which is maybe the best piece of historical non-fiction I have ever read. Lincoln's Melancholy by Joshua Wolf Shenk. Last night in my reading, the depressive realism theory was delved into, and it inspired me, as Shenk described Lincoln's well-documented depression. Where this came into play was in the slavery talk, and the subsuquent, and famous, Lincoln-Douglas debates.

Abraham Lincoln is a hero of many, including myself, and his stature is only growing through my readings. It's fascinating because I always remember the lessons about the Missouri Compromise, the Kansas-Nebraska act and the Lincoln-Douglas feud through the 1850's which eventually led to the historic Lincoln-Douglas debates, but never put it into context.

The Kansas-Nebraska act was the brain child of Stephen Douglas, who was incredibly bombastic and arrogant (not to mention a flaming racist). He loved his cigars, his scotch and his women...and by many accounts referred to himself as the smartest person in the room at parties, and even in legislature.

The depressive realism point of the book addressed these delusions of Douglas. The delusions that lead to the "American Dream," which was preyed upon by predatory lenders through the 90's and early 2000's and led us to where we are.

The contrast of an incredibly depressed and lifelong suffering Lincoln with the bombastic and wildly popular Douglas was the juxtaposition for Shenk's illustration of the depressed mind versus the non-depressed mind. Lincoln was aware of his intelligence, but was ashamed of it, and insecure about it...due to the profound depression he suffered through. As it is today, it wasn't "cool" or acceptable to be smart. On the other hand Douglas was a megalomaniac, much like many of today's celebrities and athletes. He had everything at his disposal, and was what clinicians would call mentally healthy.

The delusion that was eventually Douglas' downfall was that his arrogance, his proclamations that he knew nobody smarter, and that essentially he had a birthright to be president in 1860. Lincoln, depressed, and at times suicidal, came out of nowhere, equipped with a realistic (though pessimistic) view of the world, and gifted with the type of personna we see in Barack, one that the normal folks see hope in and connect with. He shocked the world in his debate drubbings of Douglas, though he would not defeat Douglas in the running for Illinois' Senate seat in 1858.

I guess that was read as me taking a shot at someone? I should have gone into more detail. I do have other things on my plate though, sorry to disappoint..

After the 1858 loss, Lincoln was devastated, and did, as I overly-simplified in my last post, ditch many of his obligations. He became solemn, and depressed and forsaked his wife and his legal practice because of the initial hurt of the loss to Douglas. But he also funnelled that sadness into a work that may have been the main reason for his election as Presindent in 1860. He went through and published the text of the debates with Douglas, in which he thrashed the veteran politician. Once the text of those speeches reached the masses in book form and word of this up and coming political star reached the masses (remember, this was an Illinois Senate race, so folks around the country had no idea), Abe was on his way to being one of the most important figures in the history of this world.

His aim, and what led him into such dark, and violent bouts of depression, was that he wanted to not only leave his mark on this world, but, he wanted to change it in some way. Alleviate the suffering of so many, even just a little bit. It took him more than 40 years of suffering before he finally funneled all of his angst and energy into making this come true.

It's why so many artists are usually victims of depression. They get a form of tunnel vision in their quest for meaning. Melville, Hemingway, Kerouac, into more modern examples like Cobain and David Foster Wallace. It's a whore, and even in winning, many lose. Reading Cobain's lyrics is to read a Hemingway piece of prose. I never want it to get that dark, but I swear to God I don't know that I can say that it won't. Right now is right now, and tomorrow is tomorrow.

Please separate yourself from what you read, it's not all about you. While you're working and raising your family, I'm not. I have a shitload of free time, and I fill it with thinking (too much thinking) and reading, and philosophizing. Don't flatter yourself and think it's all about you. If something negative is written and you identify it with yourself, then maybe you have some insecurities, but I promise you when I write, when I vent on here and in my journal, the last thing I am thinking about is anybody else. I'll send you the book when I am finished so you can see my scribblings and highlighting in the book (they aren't about you, don't worry), the pages look as if I am trying to figure out all of the worlds problems in the margins.

Educate yourself before running your fucking mouth.