Nick Adenhart

The tragedy of Angels pitcher Nick Adnehart's death is known by now (or you are clueless)....but the most chilling part of this is that the 22-year old felon who drunkenly drove through the red light and ended up killing Adenhart, along with two others, had his license suspended for a previous DUI conviction in California.

Adenhart could have been rookie of the year, Cy Young, All-Star, Hall of Famer...who knows? He had everything to live for and it was taken from him.

And I'm suicidal...or at least was? For what?

I think about how shattered everyone touched by this is and can see now, with clearer vision, what I would have done if I made the decision to go through with, ya know....I hate that I personalize a tragedy like this, but that's human nature.

Thoughts and prayers go out to SoCal, and Maryland, where Adenhart was from. Baseball people are the best people on the planet, and the Angels organization is one of the most well-run franchises in all of sports.

It makes me think of "supposed to" living though also...

You know what makes me happiest? Remembering what it felt like to come up the stairs of the London Underground and see what Harrod's and the west end of London looked like for the first time.

Driving into New York in July while the sun set in the rear view, leaving a purple sky as the back drop to the Manhattan skyline. There is that bend in the New Jersey turnpike when you come around and finally see it, and it's an amazing feeling. And then on top of it "New York State of Mind" by Billy Joel was on the radio. It was one of the best moments of my life.

The ferry back from Alcatraz after the sun had set. Seeing San Francisco at night, from the water, from the island.....Riding bikes across the Golden Gate bridge (seriously!). And knowing first-hand how amazing Sausalito is, let alone knowing what it is.

Sunday morning drives to Toronto to see random Blue Jays games with 107.1 (maybe 102.1?) psychedelic Sundays on the radio, or maybe a Teddy Pendergrass CD on in the car.

Dave Matthews Band at The Greek.

Magglio.

Rod Allen at Fenway, and the game when Pudge played second base at Fenway.

Our Lady Peace on the radio in the middle-nowhere, Missouri.

Getting kicked out of KU basketball practice at the Phog.

There's so much more.......I did all of this when I was "supposed to" be settling down and having kids, getting the career, etc....Not for a single fucking second would I even consider trading any one of those things in for the sedentary life....and when I did, briefly, it got me nowhere fast.